Divided We Fall—the UMMAH at Midnight

Walking though the storm at midnight I felt the falling February snow alive in air around me. I was tickled and thrilled by the whisper of the snow. But coming up the white deserted street a dark figure was growing larger. Here he was, wrapped up in black hood and coat. I smiled as he passed. He frowned, and grumbled. And suddenly I was not happy anymore.



Was his hate of snow greater than my love of snow? Had he the stronger will? Was he more balanced in his stance? Or perhaps, as he passed, did his mood lighten? How mysteriously we affect each other’s moods and emotions, all the while we imagine we are rational and in control.



As in a dream, I see Bush and Ahmadinejad walking through the snow, the multilingual media snow of a thousand distortions, coming closer and closer to conflict and also farther and farther from each other. These two men are character assassins on a mission of mutual destruction. One sees the other as an alcoholic and addictive personality; the other sees a monster of intolerance; each walks into the mirror of deep psychic conflict. And we the people will suffer.



When will we Muslims wake up from this violent dream, in Palestine, Pakistan, Darfur, Iraq? Again last Sunday, a suicide bombing by a woman killed 40 people, mostly young women, at Baghdad’s elite Mustansiriya University minutes before the start of afternoon exams.



As Damien Cave reported in the Times, “an hour and a half later, the walkway where the explosion occurred was covered with blood, body parts, skirts, veils, blood-stained textbooks and steel ball bearings. Hussain Ali al-Mousawi, a middle-aged blacksmith who said he lived across the street from the university, collected body parts on a notebook, placing severed fingers, pieces of skull and flesh on pages covered with student notes.”



Cave continues, “Freshman Hasan Jabur… walked over to the holes and placed clothing, flesh and debris into the ground. Stunned Iraqi policemen stared. All around him, students crouched or sat on the ground crying…’We are burying here the minds of our society,” he said, pointing to the ad hoc graves being filled by Mr. Mousawi, the blacksmith. “We are planting them anew. How many of our great minds have they killed?”



Is this what happens when the mirror shatters? Self-destruction instead of Self-Development-- how is this Islamic? Is this what happens when our leaders fool us with nationalism and identity politics, encouraging fast food style heroics instead of allowing us to develop our characters, our virtues?



Surely “the fish smells from the head” –the rot begins at the top. But the rotten head learns little. The rotten and divided heart even less. In Palestine the factions fight; setting rival universities aflame. “When we saw the university burning, it was like our hearts were burning, because this institution is very dear to us,” said Ahmed Bahar, a Hamas leader and the deputy speaker of the Palestinian parliament, touring the wreckage of Islamic University, serving 20,000 young women. And next door, al Azhar University, linked to the Fatah, had also suffered damage. We Muslims will still find a way to blame the Israelis for this too no doubt. We the people will all blame each other.



As the poet Rainer Maria Rilke has written: "Our role in life is to be decisively defeated by greater and greater Beings." It is not simply to succeed—but to learn. But do we learn? And what are our leaders learning from the tragic violence? What are they learning from us? Aren’t violent movies more popular? How can the broken body, the Ummah, and Suffering Humanity, repel the poison all around?



Our human soul must unify part by part. The Mind must be reborn. The Heart must heal.



Character is Destiny, as Heraclitus stated over 2,000 years ago. Why are we interested in identity and life style issues instead of character? It is because character development forces us to recognize that we can be more than our ego and our comfort and our success. Character development means admitting we are often wrong—or at least, incompletely right.



Will our leaders ever do that? But why wait for them? Andre Maurois has written, “If you create an act, you create a habit. If you create a habit, you create a character. If you create a character, you create a destiny.”



The word "character" comes originally from "chiseling" or making a mark. So you and I have lines in our faces that reveal character. And whatever mark we make reveals –and influences--who we are.



So let’s stop imagining a racial or ethnic identity and explore our human character. Let’s get real. Real authority comes from integrity and truthfulness, not the stories we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel better. Real power comes in many forms and grows wild on the hillside outside the palace walls. Traditional wisdom is not only contained in the form of a law court but grows as a living garden of self-knowledge, fragrant and nourishing.



Let’s remember Heaven even as we have been led to Hell. May Allah help us free ourselves from violence and hate in the name of Justice. And as we seek liberation, what are we doing for others locked in the spiral of destruction? Hating injustice in our hearts- we really can’t do more than that?



With patient attention in every little moment, maybe we will find balance and lasting peace. Our world’s at war; but we can love the falling snow.